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Riding and shooting
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A harley is the single best way to convert fuel to noise without the byproduct of horse power
 

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Divorce lawyer to wife on witness stand:
"Isn't true that on the night of May 18 you made mad passionate love to Louie the Motorcycle Midget while perched atop the bars of his Harley Davidson Fat Boy while doing 103 miles per hour through the center of town?"

Wife: "Would you repeat the date?"
 

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454 Posts
not a mc joke

Guy buys a new corvette. Gets on highway and with the top down notices how good it feels to go eighty, Since it feels so good he tries ninety and it feels better. Then one ten is even better. About that time he notices blue lights behind him and he decides his joy ride is over, maybe for good. The cop approaches the car and tells the man that he has had a very rough week and just wants to go home. If the driver can give him an excuse the cop has never heard before he will let the man go. At that point the driver says that his wife had left him recently for a cop and when he saw the blue lights he was afraid the cop was bringing her back.
 

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Q: What do you get when you have 32 Harley owners in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you tell if a Harley rider has had sex
A: His middle finger is clean.

Q: Why do Harley riders never ride faster than 50mph?
A: Any faster and they can't see where the parts fell off.
 

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Shelby Stanga Rocks
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8,199 Posts
I bought a Harley with leather saddle bags and the owner told me to keep them in good condition coat them in vaseline before it rains. Well...... I was supposed to go meet my girlfriends parents for the first time today. Her Dad is a motorcycle nut, so I figured I would bring my bike by. When I arrived, my girlfriend met me outside and said "my family has been in a giant argument this week. No one wants to do the dishes. We aren't speaking at the moment. Next one who speaks has to do the dishes".
We go in for dinner, and sure enough, it's nothing but awkward silence. The dirty dishes are overflowing out of the sink. Everyone is eating, looking at each other, and not saying anything. My inner rebel is telling me to see how far I can push it, so naturally, I grab my girlfriend, throw her on the table, and start ****ing her in front of the entire family. I finish up. Silence. No one says anything.
In a couple minutes.....I grab my girlfriends Mother, throw her on the table, and start ****ing her in front of everyone. Nothing. No one says a god damn thing. I can't believe this. As I'm finishing up, I hear a giant clap of thunder, and it starts raining.Worrying about the leather saddle bags, I grab the Vaseline, and my girlfriends father yells "FINE, I'LL DO THE ****ING DISHES".
 
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