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114 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OK, I stole this list, but it's a good one - add yours!

1. Always leave your passenger foot pegs in the down position. That way your spouse won’t notice they are suddenly now down and start asking questions.
2. Always wear a bandana around your neck. It can be used for many purposes.
3. If you think you want the black bike, buy the black bike. Of course you want the black bike.
4. Never let your friend ride your motorcycle unless you’ve actually seen him or her ride a motorcycle. Recently.
5. Don’t leave loose aluminum beverage cans in the same saddlebag as your jacket.
6. The police have a helicopter now.
7. Get on the bike, take it off the stand, start it up — then let the passenger get on.
8. Rain-X your glasses and visor and windshield. They make a version for plastic. Amazing stuff.
9. Always wear gloves, and have a spare pair in case it rains.
10. Don’t order the daily special. Restaurants often pre-make the special and it sits there all day in a warming tray collecting bacteria.
11. If the mosquitoes are bad at the bush party the deer will be loitering on the road for your ride home. They don’t like mosquitoes either.
12. If someone else wants to lead the way — let them.
13. Check your tire pressure daily.
14. Check your oil daily.
15. Don’t overfill your oil.
16. Check your belt or chain daily.
17. If you aren’t sure you want the red bike, don’t buy the red bike.
18. Wear a full-face helmet.
19. Costco stretchy-jeans shred like Kleenex in a crash.
20. If you have room, bring an extra jacket.
21. Carry your phone in your jacket pocket. Otherwise, if you crash on a deserted road and can’t make it back to the bike where your phone is, how are you going to call for help?
22. When your rear tire is almost ready for replacement, peel out here and there. It is good practice.
23. Never touch your front brake in a parking lot. Ever.
24. Pump your own gas.
25. Keep your licence and registration in your jacket or vest pocket. When you get pulled over by the police it will be handy, and the less time you spend being pulled over, the better.
26. When you are pulled over by the police, stay on your bike with your hands on the grips and keep your helmet on.
27. Ask the police for help when they pull you over. They are way too busy to help you and will likely tell you to get lost.
28. Turn down your music at stop-lights and in parking lots. Not everyone enjoys Carly Rae Jepsen as much as you do.
29. Use the bathroom at a roadside restaurant before you order food. If the bathroom is disgusting, the kitchen probably is too. Remember Rule #10.
30. Loud pipes may not save lives. But they also never killed anyone.
31. Don’t try and miss a deer. Aim right at the rib cage. It will be gone when you get there. Remember – right for the rib cage.
32. If there’s dew on your seat, there’s dew on the street.
33. Upgrade your headlight and add fog lights.
34. Don’t follow too closely behind your buddy on that trike, those things spray the road with dust and gravel.
35. Leave your saddlebags open to air out when the bike is parked in the garage.
36. Always back into a parking spot.
37. Don’t wave at scooter riders. They aren’t used to it and nearly crash trying to wave back.
38. If someone says your bike is nice always say thank-you. Then be prepared for them to tell you all about their uncle who had a motorcycle but is dead now.
39. Riding a snowmobile improves your motorcycle riding skills. Buy one.
40. Riding a dirt bike improves your street motorcycle riding skills. Buy one.
41. If you can take your shoes or boots off without untying them, they will fall off when you crash.
42. Avoid the Toyota Prius at all costs.
43. Ride as if your days are numbered. Because they are.
44. Stay hydrated.
45. Sometimes it’s nice to ride alone.
46. You are invisible to other motorists.
47. Never listen to Billy Idol while riding. He’s cursed.
48. Never sell a mini bike.
49. Always have a spare pair of glasses.
50. Order the clubhouse and fries. They make that many times per day and it is made to order. Hold the mayo. Remember Rule # 10.
51. Have your gloves, glasses, jacket, helmet etc. ready to go at all times. Making your friends wait while you dig through your bags when departing a pit stop is lame.


Premium Member
2,909 Posts
More Lessons, Continued. Add Yours.

52. Always trust your instincts. Sometimes it's the dearly departed from your family just trying to save your ass. Don't fight it.

53. Remember - One beer might just loosen your tight paranoid riding a$$ up and make you ride better - but Eight beers in three hours will definitely not.

54. When in Doubt GAS IT ! Unless suddenly # 52 kicks in. Then DONT !

55. Don't talk crap. No one cares about how bad you say you're going to beat them - just do it ! Then don't talk about it till they bring it up - then blow it off, just like you did them. Win. Win. Win.

56. Loud pipes do save lives, but even louder pipes don't save even more lives. It's hard to get run over by a car that now hears you - but he's 1 mile away.

57. If you're on the motorcycle, wear your helmet. No one needs to die due to a head injury in an otherwise easily survivable motorcycle accident due to no helmet. When your'e dead, your'e dead, that's it - sorry. :angelwin: :D

5,281 Posts
58.When in a group hug just relax.:stilpoke:

7 Posts
59. theres a reason why rear shocks are adjustable, use them. (gave my mother in law a ride and we were scraping, and completely destroyed the turn signal brake lights that were under my rear fender.)

"Vrod King"
932 Posts
60. Don't ride in the rain. Wait, it will stop.

61. Don't ride "Lolo" (crazy).

62. Don't ride with "Lolos" (more crazy than you).

"Vrod King"
932 Posts

93 Posts
63. When getting pulled over by a cop don't pretended that you don't know why you're being pulled over. "Yes officer, I was going too fast, i'll slow it down". You may get out of it for the honesty since they're constantly lied to..."I didn't do it", "must have been someone else", "wasn't me" - etc.
64. Don't wait for the next gas station
65. Don't use crushed red pepper on pizza slice before you ride. Somehow one piece seems to find its way inside your helmet and land in your eye while riding.
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